The cap and gown came in the other day, making it all so real.
My last one is about to graduate.
We'll soon be empty nesters.
I'm having a lot of feelings about this and a few other things that are coming to an end.
I have mixed feelings about this.
On the one hand, I'm thrilled the boy not only gets to graduate, but has solid plans for his future. No matter what happens, at least he has a plan.
In a way, I'm kind of glad I don't have to drop money in his lunch fund every two weeks, or constantly have to ask if he's keeping up with homework, or making sure he gets up and going on time every M-F.
However, I'm bummed that the school will be a foreign place to me now. That I won't have a kid that'll be "Going back to school." And maybe it won't be homework I'm nagging him on, but I'm sure I'll find other things to pester him about. I never really had to yell at him to get up and going. Like me, he's a morning person and usually gets up early on his own.
So then why, when I was reading the information about graduation day, did I start tearing up for no reason? And why when I walk past his room do I avoid looking at his blue gown? I know he'll eventually be leaving to go off to college, but I just can't get myself to think too much about it.
I'm not sure why. It's strange really.
And during all this, I'm writing the last few chapters of my White Roads Chronicle book. And as I'm writing, I feel that burning lump in my throat. And the screen turns blurry sometimes. And I keep putting off sitting down to write, or sitting down to edit. I haven't been able to completely finish the cover that I've had to redo 4 times because it's just not right.
It's right now. I just need a few final touches. I'll get them done, I promise. You'll get to see it soon.
And I think I've written my last chapter. I've come to a really good stopping point. But then I think, "Oh, I'll write this last little bit because maybe people will want to know about that. But it's not necessary. The story is done. And you'll be happy to know, there's no cliff-hangers.
Be warned people, this book is now sitting at around 140k words. The others have all been around 120k.
I just don't want it to end. I'm going to miss Alyra and Jerin, Lotari, Stitch and Katrina. And all the others.
I'm going to miss having a kid in school.
But seasons come and go. Right?
They leave, but then grand babies come. That's a good thing. I've enjoyed my daughter's first one and am eager for the next that'll come this August.
Maybe this series is done, but there's a lot more stories waiting to capture my attention. New characters who want to come alive on the pages and in my heart.
So I know I'll be okay. Endings aren't really endings. They're just a fork in the road that leads to new beginnings. And new is usually a good thing. It can be, I think, don't you?
Blessings and Peace,
PS: The last book will be released FOR SURE June 22nd. Hang in there, I'm almost done. =)
I've not run out of kleenix yet, so we're good.
Jackie Castle is an author, artist and dreamer. She lives in Texas with her husband, two grown children and her dog, Banjo. She looks for the extraordinary in the ordinary in everything she experiences.
Join Me on These Blogs
Follow J. R. Castle FB Page