God directs our steps, but sometimes we need to sit down with him and map out where we are going.
The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
I’m going to be completely honest and transparent in this blog.
About six months ago, I seriously considered giving up on my dream of making a living off writing or even having a career as an author. The harder I seemed to pray, plan, and work at writing, the less I earned each month.
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
No Rope Left...
I started to get depressed and felt as if I were a complete failure. Finally, I threw up my hands and told the Lord, “I think it’s time for me to find something else. I’ve become a drain on my family. I’m not even making enough to pay the few bills on my own that I promised to take care of.”
Before I go on, I want to say that I'm not sharing this to make people feel sorry for me. But to say that we all have our miry pit moments. Everyone does. This is how I found a way back on solid ground. I didn't do it on my own, trust me.
His response was, “I’m enough. I will provide."
And He did. My bills did get paid, but not from what I earned. Though I’m grateful for His hand in our lives, and His provision, I was still left feeling as if I was a big failure.
And as the Lord is prone to do when we come to our end, he holds out His hand and offers us a step up if we’ll be willing to keep going. So, I agreed that I wouldn’t give up yet, but there needed to be some big changes because what I’ve been doing wasn’t working.
I swear that I felt him give me a huge smile as if to say that’s what he’d been waiting for all along.
This required me to give up doing everything by my own strength and to let him show me a different way. A way where I walk so closely with him in everything I do, it’s like we’re connected at the hip. Ha. Can you picture it? When I picture it, I laugh.
But here’s the thing…
Since I’ve made more of an effort to work WITH the Lord, instead of by what the world or other fellow authors say, things have changed. Not in ways I can see with my human eyes. My income is still way down, but my vision for how I do things, what I want, what I plan to do has changed.
The heaviness weighing me down has started to lift.
Outwardly, things seem the same. inwardly, everything has changed!
I am God, your God, who teaches you how to live right and well. I show you what to do, where to go.
Jackie Castle is an author, artist and dreamer. She lives in Texas with her husband, two grown children and her dog, Banjo. She looks for the extraordinary in the ordinary in everything she experiences.