My Story Behind This Story
Why did I write this story, you may, or may not be wondering.
Well, in a way, Heath and Faye’s story is my story.
Except, I was in my senior year of high school when my mother came out to me. I had been brought up in a church, so my first reaction was to be horrified. Then Mom not only told me that she was seeing someone, but that we’d be moving to Dallas to live with her new “partner.”
What did that mean?
It meant my life was about to be turned upside down. I was introduced to a community of people completely backward from anything I ever experienced before. I had no idea what to think about it all.
So, I continued getting myself to school (an hour drive, there and back). All I could think about was making it to graduation. Then I’d be free to do whatever I wanted.
My cousin gave me an out. She lived near enough to my high school, that I could continue attending and get a job to help with my expenses. I moved away from my mother and her strange life and didn’t look back. Mom was living in sin, and I wanted nothing to do with her or her new “friends.”
I made it through my senior year and earned a cosmetologist license along with my diploma. That gave me a trade to make a living at. Graduation day arrived, and Mom showed up with her whistles, her partner, and a big, proud grin. I took one look at them, turned my back, and walked away.
What happened next threw me for an even bigger loop than my mother coming out to me.
For the first time in my life, I felt God’s displeasure.
For the next few months, He worked over my heart in a big way and here’s what I realized:
I wish I could say I opened my arms to her right away. I didn’t. It took me several months of thinking, praying, and God dealing with my attitude before I started answering her calls and allowing her back into my life. (Faye Lynn was me for a long time. Plain and simple)
Through it all, God held his part of the bargain. He kept my mother and her partner in His hands. At first, her partner wasn’t a believer, but over time, as our extended family came to welcome her in as part of the family, her heart softened, and she eventually turned her life over to God.
She became my children’s god-mother and when she passed away from brain cancer, I believe that the Lord welcomed his beloved daughter home. I have no doubt about this.
While I worked on writing this story, exactly three days after I wrote about Heath’s passing, my own mother passed into eternity. She went peacefully, yet unexpectedly for me. But not for the Lord. He is never surprised. His timing always comes with a reason and purpose.
Several times I’ve asked the Lord, why this story? And here’s how I felt He answered me:
There’s a wall built from labels. Those labels divide us from them. Those labels keep us from seeing the humanity inside our fellow humans. But God always looks at the heart of man, where we tend to look at the outside. (1 Samuel 16:7). We don’t know what God’s plan is for His other children. But He does. When we build up walls, we hinder His reach to those lost to Him because they fear rejection or judgment. We are, in a manner of speaking, His representatives here on earth.
Anyway, that’s how I see this matter. This is the conclusion I have been brought to through the experiences in my life. God offers all of us mercy and grace and unconditional love. It’s the least we can do for our brothers and sisters. He is big enough to deal with our hearts (broken, tainted, or clean) if we’ll allow it.
Blessings and Peace,
Jackie C.
Why did I write this story, you may, or may not be wondering.
Well, in a way, Heath and Faye’s story is my story.
Except, I was in my senior year of high school when my mother came out to me. I had been brought up in a church, so my first reaction was to be horrified. Then Mom not only told me that she was seeing someone, but that we’d be moving to Dallas to live with her new “partner.”
What did that mean?
It meant my life was about to be turned upside down. I was introduced to a community of people completely backward from anything I ever experienced before. I had no idea what to think about it all.
So, I continued getting myself to school (an hour drive, there and back). All I could think about was making it to graduation. Then I’d be free to do whatever I wanted.
My cousin gave me an out. She lived near enough to my high school, that I could continue attending and get a job to help with my expenses. I moved away from my mother and her strange life and didn’t look back. Mom was living in sin, and I wanted nothing to do with her or her new “friends.”
I made it through my senior year and earned a cosmetologist license along with my diploma. That gave me a trade to make a living at. Graduation day arrived, and Mom showed up with her whistles, her partner, and a big, proud grin. I took one look at them, turned my back, and walked away.
What happened next threw me for an even bigger loop than my mother coming out to me.
For the first time in my life, I felt God’s displeasure.
For the next few months, He worked over my heart in a big way and here’s what I realized:
- The Ten Commandments says to honor your mother and father. He showed me that there were no exceptions or qualifications added to this command about a parent’s behavior. If I didn’t honor my mother, I couldn’t expect my life to go well. (This is the one command with a promise attached to it.)
- Whatever my mother’s “sin” might be, it was between Him and her and had nothing to do with me. I had my own life to live and I needed to follow Him. (John 21:20-21) Basically, this came down to- mind your own two-by-fours and let me deal with hers.
- Lastly, I had no right to judge. None of us do. (Matthew 7:2). I don’t think Jesus can make his feelings on this matter anymore clear.
I wish I could say I opened my arms to her right away. I didn’t. It took me several months of thinking, praying, and God dealing with my attitude before I started answering her calls and allowing her back into my life. (Faye Lynn was me for a long time. Plain and simple)
Through it all, God held his part of the bargain. He kept my mother and her partner in His hands. At first, her partner wasn’t a believer, but over time, as our extended family came to welcome her in as part of the family, her heart softened, and she eventually turned her life over to God.
She became my children’s god-mother and when she passed away from brain cancer, I believe that the Lord welcomed his beloved daughter home. I have no doubt about this.
While I worked on writing this story, exactly three days after I wrote about Heath’s passing, my own mother passed into eternity. She went peacefully, yet unexpectedly for me. But not for the Lord. He is never surprised. His timing always comes with a reason and purpose.
Several times I’ve asked the Lord, why this story? And here’s how I felt He answered me:
There’s a wall built from labels. Those labels divide us from them. Those labels keep us from seeing the humanity inside our fellow humans. But God always looks at the heart of man, where we tend to look at the outside. (1 Samuel 16:7). We don’t know what God’s plan is for His other children. But He does. When we build up walls, we hinder His reach to those lost to Him because they fear rejection or judgment. We are, in a manner of speaking, His representatives here on earth.
Anyway, that’s how I see this matter. This is the conclusion I have been brought to through the experiences in my life. God offers all of us mercy and grace and unconditional love. It’s the least we can do for our brothers and sisters. He is big enough to deal with our hearts (broken, tainted, or clean) if we’ll allow it.
Blessings and Peace,
Jackie C.